


Undiagnosed

by WriterByMidnight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Car Accidents, Castiel Has a Crush on Dean Winchester, Castiel is a Novak, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Dating, Dating Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Has Issues, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Dean Winchester's First Time With a Man, Dean in Denial, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay Castiel, Hurt Dean, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Pain, Protective Sam, Protective Sam Winchester, Romantic Fluff, Sick Dean, Sick Dean Winchester, Supportive Sam, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff, Worried Castiel, Writer Castiel, h/c
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-01 14:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10191572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterByMidnight/pseuds/WriterByMidnight
Summary: In 1997, John and Mary Winchester died in a car crash. The Winchester brothers took care of each other equally until 2003, when Dean fell chronically ill. Sam dropped out of law school and took on multiple jobs so he could support the two of them.The story begins in 2005 when Dean Winchester bumps into a mystery man with dark hair and bright blue eyes at a drugstore. Dean's life quickly flips into something both exhilarating and nerve wrecking.-This is the tale of a bittersweet love between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak.Does love always prevail through pain?Can you bear to watch the one you love most suffer?





	1. Chapter 1

 

* * *

  _"_ _It's not just pain. It's a complete physical, mental, and emotional assault on your body." - Jamie Wingo_

* * *

**November 15th, 2005.**

 

 

Dean Winchester brought his chilled fingertips to press into the warm flesh of his cheeks. He breathed a soft exhale and groaned, his brain still filled of a disorienting fuzz from his nap. Dean licked his chapping lips and swallowed thickly. He sat up slow and glanced at the flashing electronic clock through squinted eyes. It blinked a too-bright '4:17pm' at him. Dean counted the hours mentally from the last painkiller he'd had, making sure he could take another safely. His muscles were already starting to reawaken with a dull ache. He reached down to open his bedside drawer and retrieve a bottle of Advil with one hand while rubbing at his eyes with the other. He popped the lid to dump a familiar translucent blue gel pill into the dead center of his palm. It rattled out and he quickly swallowed it dry. As he went to put the cap back on, there was no clinking noise; Dean peered into the small bottle to see it empty. _Damn_. Dean closed the empty container and threw it beside him onto the comforter of his bed.  
He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone to send a text to his brother.  
  
  
  
_' Do we have any more painkillers in the medicine cabinet? '_    
Dean readjusted the pillows so he could lay back against the headboard while waiting for a reply. A few minutes of peaceful silence passed before his phone vibrated and lit up with a text back from Sam.

 _' No, why? Did you run out? I can pick some up on my way home from work. I get off in around half an hour. '  
_ Dean pondered Sam's offer for a few moments before responding.

_' I need to stretch my legs. I'll walk to the drugstore thats a few blocks from here. Can you pick me up from there? '_

_' Yeah, no prob. See you soon. Call if you need me. '_  
  
  
  
He rolled his eyes at this. Albeit Sam was kind to him, he worried too much - or that's what Dean thought.  
Dean clambered awkwardly out of his bed. He grabbed his heavy, olive-colored military jacket. He gave a slight wince at the uncomfortable twang of pain in his shoulders as he dressed himself. Dean then grabbed at his hands, popping his minimally swollen knuckles with satisfaction. He opened up his phone camera to do a quick check that he looked presentable to the public. He rubbed at the stubble that was growing slightly too long upon his chin and then fluffed up his matted hair a bit. Dean clicked his phone off and slid it into the oversized pocket of his jacket. He tread to the front door and slipped on his scuffed combat boots, tying them tightly before grabbing a key to the house just in case, and then exiting his home.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
As Dean began to walk down the short driveway and reached the sidewalk, he felt the cool autumn wind nipping at his facial features. He took a deep breath of fresh Kansas air, feeling relieved. Dean always felt drained after going outside yet he lived for the moment he got to breathe any oxygen other than the stuffy air of his small bedroom.  
He started to whistle the tune of Seagull by Bad Company. The patter of his boots hitting the ground to the beat of the song filled him with joy. Dean cherished the little things like this. The little things matter most to a person who is crammed inside most of their days.

 He got through whistling three full songs before he reached the drugstore. His ears and nose had a rosy tint from the wind. Dean trekked past the sliding doors, which produced a whoosh as they opened up for him. He blinked away the basal tears that were blurring his vision. It took him a few moments to adjust to the bright, fluorescent-lit room. He looked up at the obnoxiously colored signs pointing to where things were. Dean easily located the medication section and set off towards that aisle. He was quite aquaint to all the names of various medications, having bought most of them before. He scanned for the advil, preferably the biggest bottle available.

All of a sudden, a man with dark and messy hair turned the corner and slammed into Dean - nearly knocking him over.  
"Oh my god!" The man exclaimed. "I’m so sorry, dude."  
Dean stumbled and took a moment before looking up at the man. "Hey, don’t worry about it. Shit happens."  
Dean and the man held their eye contact for an awkward amount of time. His gaze got stuck on the man’s eyes like he couldn’t control it. The man had eyes that were as blue as the mesopelagic zone in oceans. The man smirked at him then walked past to pick up a medication of his own.  
  
Dean turned back towards the section he was scanning, but he couldn’t help but be distracted by the strange man. When he glanced over he saw the man picking up midol.  
' _Damn.'_  Dean thought to himself. ' _He’s probably not single then.'_ He gathered two bottles of advil and started strolling towards the checkout.  
"H-Hey!" The man called out.  
Dean stopped dead in his tracks and spun to face him.  
"Sorry, I feel bad for running into you-"  
"Don’t worry about it, it happens." Dean shrugged it off.  
The man stepped closer to Dean. "I was just wondering if I could pay for your items." He spoke.  
Dean sputtered a few nonsensical words and the man interrupted him.  
"It’s nothing, really." The man insisted and winked at Dean.  
Dean’s eyes widened slightly, confused as to if he saw the man wink at him flirtatiously, or if his mind was playing tricks on him. "O-Okay, only if it’s no trouble I suppose?" Dean finally agreed, not wanting to argue back and forth over something so trivial. ' _I mean, he offered, right?'_ He thought to himself.

 

He handed the man the medication bottles and followed him to the cashier. They exchanged a bit of small talk such as; _You live around here?_ \- and whatnot. Dean agreed to stand by the exit while the man paid separately for his midol and Dean’s advil.  
Dean rubbed at his forehead which was now throbbing from the too-bright lights and the loud humming of electrical appliances. He opened his eyes to look towards the man again, and saw him signing the paper receipt. The cashier put the items in two plastic bags, and the man put a receipt in each one.  
  
He strode towards Dean with a smile, and lifted the crinkling bag out to him. "Here you go."  
"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Dean thanked. It was true, he appreciated it greatly. Him and Sam weren’t in the greatest of financial situations with all the doctor’s appointments and over-the-counter drug purchasing.  
"No problem at all." The man nodded as he accepted the thanks. When he looked back up Dean swore he saw a wink again, and with that the man left the store and went to his car.

Conveniently, Dean’s phone vibrated in his pocket with a text from his younger brother.  
'  _I’ll be there in 5_  '  
  


* * *

  
  
  
On the drive home from the store, Sam was babbling about his day at work.  
"You remember the kinda crazy coworker I talked about a few days ago? What’s his name - uh, Garth, I think?" Sam started.  
"Yeah, what about him?"  
"So get this, we were unpacking a shipment in the back, right?"  
"Yeah." Dean prompted.  
Sam giggles, "And our other coworker Lily, came in the back to take a piss in our bathroom or something, and Garth got scared shitless. Over Lily opening a door!" Sam pauses to laugh. "I can’t believe that guy goes hunting with how skittish he is. He’s probably never caught anything because the minute a twig snaps, he’d squeal."  
Dean chuckles along with Sam. "This Garth guy sounds more like a prepubescent girl."  
"Well, he’s immature like one. That’s for sure." Sam concludes.

Dean looks over his shoulder at his brother. "I take it you had a good day then?"  
At this, Sam huffed. "I suppose. Working isn’t really a pleasurable thing. But yeah, it was an entertaining day at the least. Hey, how was yours? You look like you’re feelin’ good."  
"Heh, yeah. Looks can be deceiving, Sammy." Dean mumbled with a smirk. He inhaled before continuing, "Yeah I didn’t do a whole lot. I ate breakfast right after you left, talked to Bobby a bit, took a long nap, and here I am now."  
"Mm, what’d you talk to Bobby about?" Sam questioned.  
"Work." Dean answered. "I’m gonna go in tomorrow for a few hours since I’m feeling better than normal."  
Sam smiled. "I’m glad."  
Dean grinned back. "Yeah, me too. I’m sick of being stuck in that damn house."  
  
Sam pulled into the short driveway and parked the car. He twisted the keys out of ignition and threw them at Dean with a playful look on his face.  
The brothers went indoors and went their separate ways in the house. Dean to his bedroom with the plastic grocery bag, and Sam to the kitchen; Presumably to make dinner.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Dean silently closed his bedroom door and proceeded to kick his boots off his aching feet. He fell backwards and landed on his mattress with a dull _thud_ as his body hit the thick cotton sheets. He pulled the advil bottles out of the plastic bag, placing them onto his nightstand. The crinkling paper receipt stuck to the edge of the coat. He plucked it off with careless hands, tearing it slightly.  
Dean glanced down at the paper, seeing how much it cost the mystery man. He followed the paper down to where the prices should be, but it was all crossed off. Below the pen scratching where the total price should be was a phone number, followed by ' _-Cas'_.  
"Well I'll be damned..." Dean whispered under his breath. He quickly grabbed his phone, trying to play it cool. Inside of himself, he couldn't help but feel like a schoolgirl who just got asked to her first prom. He typed the number into the keypad quickly and then scrambled to put together a text.

' _So, Cas, huh? That's your name?_ '

He pressed the send button and laid stone still on his bed for several minutes. His phone buzzed and Dean's breathing hitched as he read the reply from the man.

' _It's a nickname. And what should I call you?_ '

' _Dean. My name's Dean Winchester._ '

' _God, I replied too fast. Fuck. Shitshitshit_.' Dean's brain yelled at him, filled with anxiety. He didn't know why he was acting this way. He'd just met the man for Christ's sake. He doesn't even know if this Cas person was interested in him. Maybe he just wanted to be friends, or?-  
  
- **buzz** -

'  _Well, Dean Winchester. Are you single? I wouldn't be surprised if you aren't, with an attractive face like yours._ '  

Dean's mouth dropped wide open. ' _He definitely is hitting on me_. _Play it cool_.' He thought of how to respond.  
' _I'm as single as they come. I'm more surprised that you're single. Anyway, how'd you know I liked you?_ ' 

' _Didn't. Just took my chances. There's no harm in trying._ '

Dean chuckled. This Cas guy has some real balls.  
' _I suppose you're right there. But if you're not single, then who the hell was the midol for?_ '

' _My sister lmao. I'm as gay as they come_. '

'  _You don't come across as gay at all. I had no gaydar signals coming in._ '

'  _Hahah, well Dean, I could say the same for you._ ' 

'  _I'm bi. Although I haven't dated a guy yet, so maybe I have yet to earn my place on the gaydar._ '

'  _Possibly. How about we change that, Dean Winchester._ ' 

Dean's heart rate picked up as he read the text, mouthing each word.  
' _Are you asking me out?_ '

'  _If that's what you'd like._ '

Dean swallowed hard and sent a simple reply.  
'  _Then I'll take up your offer._ '

'  _You free next tuesday at say, 7am? There's a nice little breakfast diner just around the corner from my house._ '

'  _Yeah, that sounds great. Send me the address of the place. You've got yourself a date._ '

' _My pleasure. I'll be looking forward to it._ '

   


* * *

  


He was snapped out of his awe when he heard Sam call out his name.  
"Dean! Dinner's on the table!" Sam yelled out.  
"Coming!" Dean called back like a child to their mother. Dean sat up and placed the phone on his bed. _'What the hell just happened?'_ He thought.

Sam was straining a pot of angel hair pasta as Dean turned the corner to the kitchen. Steam was enveloping Sam's face in clouds. Dean sat at his chair and watched Sam bring the noodles to the table, along with plates and silverware.  
"Thanks for the help, jerk." Sam teased.  
"Bitch. You didn't ask."  
"Sorry it's not much." Sam apologized. "I've gotta go buy more food."  
Dean harrumphed. "Better than I could do, Chef Boyardee."  
Sam snorted outwardly. "Bon Appetit."

 


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

" _I do things at pain levels others wouldn't consider moving at, because if I don't... I won't have a life. This does not mean I'm having a good day. I just managed to be stronger than it for part of a day." -Unknown_

* * *

**November 22nd, 2005.**

 

 

 

Dean rolled over onto his side with a grunt and clicked on his cell phone. It flashed the time and notifications at him.

 **8:46 A.M.**  
_8 missed texts from Cas  
_

"Oh shit." Dean grumbled sleepily. He unlocked his phone to read the messages.

 

' I'm here. I'm a little early. ' - 6:53 A.M.  
' Hey, I'm gonna get a table. Just come in when you get here, ask for Novak. ' - 7:05 A.M.  
' Are you stuck in traffic? ' - 7:18 A.M.  
' I just ordered food. Are you coming? ' - 7:26 A.M.  
' Either we mixed up times, or you're not coming... ' - 7:42 A.M.  
' I just finished eating. ' - 7:59 A.M.  
' ...I see how it is ' - 8:15 A.M.  
' Too bad you were so damn handsome ' -8:16 A.M.

 

Dean put his face in his hands and sighed hard. "Why today, of course it was today. Dammit."  
Dean started to dial Cas's number into the keypad to apologize. He hit call with a shaky finger and held the phone to his ear. He heard a click as Cas picked up.  
"Well hello there, Mr. Stood-Me-Up." Cas mumbled.  
"Hey, oh my god, that was unintentional." Dean began to apologize. "I'm so sorry, shit. I feel so stupid. I'm not a morning person."  
Cas started chuckling, "I can tell, sleepyhead. It's fine, don't worry about it. But you are gonna have to make it up to me." Cas spoke in a mischievous tone.  
Dean gave a slight huff and a smile, "How so?" He heard Cas's lips smack together.  
"How about tonight. You give me your address, I bring over a movie, we'll just have some fun. You can't forget if I come to you." Cas proposed the idea.  
"Alright. That's fair. What time?" Dean agreed.  
Cas breathed into the phone as he thought. "Say, 6:30? I'll eat before I come."  
Dean continued smiling. "It's a deal. My bad. Sorry onc-" He was cut off.  
"Don't apologize, you're making it up to me. You're forgiven."  
"Okay, I won't apologize then. I'm glad I slept in." Dean joked cockily.  
Cas broke down into laughter. "You certainly are something, Dean Winchester. I'll see you at 6:30."  
"Yep. Take care. I won't forget this time." With that, the call was ended; And Dean flopped back into bed to relax.  
  
He sent Sam a text;  
' _You said you're not gonna be home til' late tonight, right?_ '

* * *

 

Dean ended up napping for a few hours before finally rolling himself out of bed to get himself ready and presentable for Cas. He trod over to the bathroom and flipped on the shower; turning the knob to hot. As the water was heating up, he opened the top drawer to reveal a razor and some shaving cream. He lathered his face with the foam and dragged the sharp edge of the razor against the grain of his facial hair, removing it smoothly. Dean cleaned off the blades and rinsed out the sink. He put the items back into their proper space. He tested the shower water, which was to his liking; Then he began to strip his dirty clothes slowly as to not irritate his aching muscles further. Dean got into the shower one step at a time, taking care to not slip.  
He let the hot water drizzle onto his spine and shoulders, feeling it relax the sharp pains within his joints from the swelling. Dean breathed deep, letting the warm envelop his being. He washed himself at a steady pace; Not too fast, and not too slow. When it was time to lather his hair in shampoo he turned to face the stream of water, bowing his head to coat it in a blanket of water. Dean scrubbed at his scalp with delicacy, slightly relieving a pressure buildup in his throbbing head.  
Dean continued to massage away at his muscles until he could barely stand from fatigue. When he hit the point where he couldn’t stand comfortably anymore, he turned off the water and exited the shower. He pat his dripping body dry with an old, holey towel before wrapping himself up in it.

When he was dry enough, he limped back to his room, his joints failing him. He flopped himself on his bed and took a glance at the clock. 5:47 P.M. Dean turned onto his stomach and whined slightly. He was already laying down yet he still felt like collapsing. He laid quite still for thirty minutes, allowing himself to rest; Doing nothing except for breathing gently against his flattened pillow.  
When he finally stood, he tensed when he felt the familiar ache of his legs beneath him. He paced over to his bureau and dug through the wrinkly, balled-up clothes. Dean settled on wearing a navy blue button down dress shirt and black jeans. Classy yet still slightly casual. He dressed himself, taking care to not stretch his joints too harshly. His outfit was not ideal for comfort, but he wanted to impress Cas. Dean went back to his nightstand and opened the drawer to get some advil to numb some of the pain and a dollop of hair gel to fluff up his messy, damp hair with.

At almost the perfect timing of Dean finishing prepping himself, the doorbell rang. Dean hastily went to answer it, excited and nervous simultaneously. It bubbled up in his chest and exhilarated him. He opened the door to Cas; Who was dressed in a pale cream t-shirt, and dark acid-washed jeans. Cas's hair was just as unkempt as it was the week before when they'd met. Dean eyed him for a few moments before meeting Cas's gaze and grinning at him.  
"You look great." Dean declared. "Come on in. I'm sorry, I know it's not very much, but it's home."  
Cas smirked back at him. "Thank you. You look stunning too."  
  
They went into the family room of the Winchester's small house, and set up their movie; The Exorcist. They plopped onto the worn-out sofa directly next to each other.  
"So, you like horror movies?" Dean inquired.  
"Generally, yes." Cas announced. "Don't you?"  
Dean huffed his chest and looked down at his knees. "I rarely watch them, but I like them."  
"Have you seen this one?"  
"Not yet."  
Cas's eyes widened and he gave Dean a lighthearted slap. "Dude! It's basically a classic, how have you not?!"  
Dean chuckled, "I don't get out much."

 

* * *

  
  
They viewed the movie with an occasional chuckle or giggle from Cas as Dean jumped. Cas would call him a scaredy cat, and Dean would always argue back saying ' _Hey, I'm not! I've just never seen this before._ ' Cas would pat Dean's knee saying ' _Sure you aren't_.'  
When the movie had finished they sat and talked for a while, asking basic 'first date'-like questions.  
"So, what do you do for work?" Cas questioned.  
"Mechanic, you?" Dean stated before asking back.  
Cas scratched the top of his head, looking slightly shy about it. "I'm a children's author and illustrator."  
Dean's mouth gaped for a few moments.  
"Hey, I know I don't come across as one, but I love it." Cas said with rosy cheeks. "God, please don't go find my books."  
Dean teased him with a wink, "Oh I think I just might."  
Cas touched his own burning cheeks lightly, "Man."  
"I'm kidding, I won't." Dean admitted. Cas snorted at this. "I don't even know where I'd find them, honestly. I told you, I don't get out much."

Dean asked the next question. "So, tell me about your family. I know you've got a sister."  
"Yeah. Her name is Meg. She's a feisty one, trust me. I've got a brother too, but we don't talk. He's kind of a dick." Cas admitted.  
"What's his name?" Dean inquired, interested in Cas's family life.  
Cas inhaled before speaking, "Michael. He's my older brother. He left our family home in Pontiac, Illinois when he turned 18 for the 'greater good', or so he said. I've never seen him since. He doesn't seem to want to stay in contact with us."  
"Wow." Dean exclaimed. "He does sound like a dick."  
"Yeah, well, that's how life goes sometimes."  
Dean gave a nervous laugh, "Tell me about it."  
"Anyway," Cas went about, "What about your family?"  
"I've got one brother, Sam. He's the only surviving family member I've got. My parents died in car crash back in '97." Dean informed.  
Cas's brow furrowed. "Oh, I'm sorry." He comforted.  
"No, it's alright." Dean sighed.  
"Are you and Sam close?" Cas asked.  
Dean gave a slight chortle, "Oh hell yes. We live together actually."  
"Do you really? Is he here now?"  
"Nah, he's out working late tonight." Dean told Cas.  
Cas sighed, "That sucks. I'd love to meet him sometime."  
"I think you'd like him. He's a great kid." Dean informed him happily.

 

* * *

  
  
Before they knew it, the night drew to a close. Cas gathered his things and tread to the front door along with Dean.  
"I had a great time, Dean Winchester." Cas smiled gratefully.  
Dean smiled back. "I did too. How about you come 'round here next week too? Same time, same place."  
"You've got yourself a deal." Cas agreed.  
Dean pat Cas's shoulder before speaking. "I promise I won't forget."  
Cas giggled. "Alright then."

Cas lifted his hand to caress Dean's clean shaven cheek with care. They stepped closer together, and the excitement bubbled up in Dean's chest again. Cas leaned in close, breathing upon Dean's lips, before pulling away a slight amount, and instead leaning towards Dean's right ear.  
"That's what you get for standing me up, sleepyhead." Cas whispered barely audibly, then pulled away.  
Dean gasped. "That ain't fair, you can't tease a man like that."  
"Watch me." Cas winked seductively before backing out of the Winchester's household and waving goodbye.  
"Oh you son a bitch." Dean chuckled to himself. "You're a dangerous one."

* * *

  
  
Sam returned home a few minutes after Cas had left. He called out for Dean.  
"Over here, Sammy!" Dean answered. Sam rolled his eyes and sprinted to Dean's room.  
"Hey." Sam greeted as he entered Dean's room. "You doing good?"  
Dean sighed. "More than good, Sam."  
Sam grinned ear to ear, "So you're feeling good today?"  
"Hell no, I feel like shit. But..." Dean paused.  
Sam prompted, "But..?"  
"I met this man last week-"

 


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

_"Being able to walk pain-free is a blessing. Being able to walk without showing the pain is a skill." -Kylie McPherson_

* * *

**November 29th, 2005.**

 

 

 

 "You doing alright, Dean?" Bobby asked, worried that Dean was overdoing it.  
Dean looked up from the tire he was changing. "Yeah, I'm good." He blatantly lied.  
"If you say so. All you've got left is that car, so you can go home after that. Don't push yourself too hard, idjit." Bobby explained before turning to continue working on the car he was fixing.  
Dean raised his wrist to check the time. '3:37 P.M.' it read. Dean inhaled and felt and unpleasant feeling of his ribs crackling. He cleared his throat and tapped on his chest with the wrench. He then bent over to continue working; Tightening up the lug nuts on the last tire. He grunted as he stood to whack the wrench with the heel of his foot, making sure it was secured properly. Dean removed the wrench and tossed it to the side, bent over again to lower the car and remove the jack. He grabbed the pressure gauge and checked all the air pressure in the tires, marking down each number. He removed the wedges holding the parked car in place - just in case it rolled. Dean cleared the tools from his person and from around the car and placed them into the large toolbox in the back of the large garage in Bobby's shop.

Dean then began waxing the car from tail to tip. Buffing the car until it shone; The deep blue car shone brightly from the perfect amount of elbow grease etched into the natural shimmer of the vehicle. The whole process of waxing it took Dean around an hour and a half. He drove the car to the pickup lot, and clocked out. He'd managed to complete two cars that day, and he was proud of himself. Although he had a large physical price to pay.  But Dean really needed to bring in the money. Sam couldn't do it all on his own.

Sam had the car, so Bobby gave Dean a ride home for it wasn't a terribly long distance from his shop. Bobby had Rufus on duty, so he could spare a few minutes to drive Dean home. Dean offered to let Bobby take gas money out of his salary, but Bobby pat him on the back and humbly refused. He'd known what Dean was going through, and the financial status of the boys. Dean over-thanked him before exiting the car and heading indoors.  
"Take care, boy." Bobby called out from the drivers' seat.  
Dean waved, his back turned. "Will do, Bobby. You too."  
  
  


* * *

   
  
Dean looked at his wristwatch once more; 5:58 P.M. Damn. Cas would arrive in roughly thirty minutes, and Dean had much to do.  
He started by first popping a painkiller with haste. After this Dean turned on the shower to rinse off and rid himself of the stains on his skin from oil and other mechanic-like fluids. He would prefer if he didn't smell like new car chemicals. When he got out, he pat himself dry, and went to dress himself. Dean couldn't bear looking his best, his body would murder him if he tried. Instead he threw on black sweatpants and a white sleep shirt, Cas would have to forgive him; He would if he knew. Dean couldn't tell him, he couldn't burden the man with his never-ending struggles. It had almost slipped off his tongue a handful of times while they were speaking on the phone this past week, but he'd caught it and killed the urge. He couldn't hurt someone else like that. Ironic really, since he was the one feeling all of the pain.

Dean took the last minutes of his time before his guest arrived laying in his bed and breathing hard. His chest and upper back completely shot from bending over all day. He knew he should've gone easy on himself, but he had to finish the day's work. They needed the money. He couldn't let Sam down. Sam already worked enough for the both of them. He wanted his brother to be able to comfortably take a weekend off for once.  
Dean laid thinking and waiting for the medication to kick in. Maybe it had already kicked in and Dean's body just got worse. Dean knew that was probably the case. His muscles felt like they were being hacked into with a rusty, dull blade. Tearing them apart atom by atom. His hands were completely swollen, numb, and ice cold. He hoped Cas wouldn't notice, he'd have to make up a dumb excuse otherwise. Dean's joints had a dull ache, like that of an arthritic attack. His head was throbbing; It felt as if someone was driving a long needle up through the base of his neck diagonally toward the front of his brain, behind his left temple. Even breathing caused him pain. ' _Why? What did I do to deserve this? First you take my family, and now my health?'_ Dean thought, filled with anger and despair.

Dean checked the annoyingly bright flashing clock at his bedside for the time. Cas would arrive at any moment, so Dean yanked himself out of bed with every ounce of his strength pulling him upright. His knees nearly buckled under his own weight, the joints from his hips down yelling for relief. Dean grunted and whacked his hip, as if it would knock the pain away. He glanced out the window to see Cas's car pull up to the driveway. Dean limped to the door as best he could to open it for him.

"Hey! You're up, sleepyhead!" Cas greeted with a small chuckle.  
Dean smiled and went to give him a hug. "Yeah, I just took a nap. Sorry about the pajamas." He fibbed.  
"Don't worry about it, I'm not much better." Cas said as he motioned towards his own clothing consisting of a soft AC/DC t-shirt and khakis.  
"The hell do you mean you're not much better?" Dean exclaimed. "You at least look decent!"  
Cas laughed again. "I was trying to make you feel better, but fine, be that way." He uttered with a small wink. "Oh shit, I left something in the car. I hope you haven't eaten yet." Cas turned and jogged back to his car, pulling out three tin containers. He brought them back and went inside. "I brought some Thanksgiving leftovers. I heated them up before I left."  
"Wow, thanks." Dean expressed his gratitude. "And no, I haven't eaten."

* * *

 

Cas placed the food trays and opened them up, steam rolling out. Dean went to grab some plates and silverware. He came back and a wave of mouthwatering smells hit his senses.  
"Damn, that smells amazing. Did you make it?" Dean asked, eyes grazing over turkey, mashed sweet potatoes, and cranberry sauce.  
Cas let out a breathy puff, then said, "No. I wish I could. My friend Hannah did. I was over at her place for Thanksgiving, well, not Thanksgiving day exactly, and she sent me home with more than I could eat myself."  
"It looks and smells amazing." Dean admitted.  
"Just wait 'til you taste it. It's absolutely remarkable."  
  
And Cas was right, it tasted amazing. The turkey was juicy as hell, and topped with the sour yet sweet cranberry sauce made it a delicacy. The mashed sweet potatoes were soft and sweet, which was paired with salted chopped pecans that were drizzled on top along with some brown sugar.  
"I haven't eaten a Thanksgiving dinner in so long. Thank you, this is very delicious." Dean expressed with a mouth full of food.  
"What do you mean you haven't eaten Thanksgiving dinner in so long? Don't you go to a friend's house or have dinner with Sam?" Cas inquired quite confused.  
Dean shrugged, "I don't know, since my parents passed Sammy and I haven't celebrated it. It just doesn't seem quite right to us."  
"I'm sorry. I should've known." Cas apologized.  
"Nah don't feel bad. It's alright." Dean forgave him.  
  
They finished up their meal and Cas gave Dean the leftovers to put in the fridge. They went to go sit on the nearby sofa that they watched the movie on together to talk.  
"I have an idea." Cas announced.  
"What is it?"  
"Let's play a game, to get to know each other a bit better." He proposed.  
Dean chuckled. "Hey, I'm up for anything."  
"Okay then," Cas started. "How about two truths and a lie? It's pretty self explanatory."  
"Alright. You first." Dean said with a grin.

"Okay so... One; I've written a children's book about one of Meg and I's childhood adventures. Two; My full name is Castiel Dmitri Novak-" Dean cut him off.  
"That sounds like a name of royalty." Dean said in a mock british accent, making Cas giggle before continuing.  
"Yeah, I suppose. And Three; My childhood dog's name was Spot."  
Dean pondered his options for a few heartbeats. "Two. I don't think that's your full name."  
Cas sat still for a moment, letting Dean second-guess himself. "You're...wrong." He dragged out. "That is my name."  
"Then what was the lie?"  
"I didn't have a dog as a kid." Cas confessed.  
"Damn. I already mocked your name, now I feel like an ass." Dean spoke up.  
Cas burst into a fit of laughter. "Nah, it's fine. It sounds like a name straight out of a fantasy book, I don't blame you. Anyway, it's your turn."

Dean hummed as he thought. "One; I'm a high school dropout. Two; I've never eaten at a fancy restaurant. And Three; I secretly love chick flicks."  
Cas spoke up immediately, "Two is the lie."  
"What the hell, how'd you know?" Dean nearly yelled in shock.  
Cas sniffed with a smile. "Body language, my friend. And do you really like like chick flicks?"  
Dean cheeks flushed a rosy-peach color and stuttered, "Hey, I couldn't think of anything else."  
Cas giggled and pat at Dean's knee. "There's nothing wrong with it, Dean."  
"Of course there isn't, except for getting a few manliness points knocked off of my score." Dean huffed.  
"You're a mechanic, I think that makes up for it." Cas snorted.  
"If you say so." Dean voiced in an unsure manner.

"My turn again then?" Castiel asked. Dean responded with a curt nod. Cas continued on with the game, "One; I moved here two years ago. Two; I've written three books in total. Three; I've done illustrations for all of them."  
"One is the lie." Dean answered.  
"Nope. I only have done illustrations for two of my books."  
"Castiel, you sneaky son of a bitch."  
Cas smiled and then said,"Your turn."

Dean smiled back. "One; Sam is five years younger than me. Two; My favorite food is cheap and greasy burgers. Three; I kept the car my parents crashed in." He spoke.  
Cas looked slightly taken aback by Dean's words. "Uh, Three?" He asked, fairly unsure of himself.  
"The first one is the lie. Sam's only four years younger." Dean replied.  
"You kept the car?" Cas asked, slightly concerned.  
Dean responded, "Yeah, I fixed it up. She's sitting in the garage. She's too pretty to have thrown out like a piece of trash. That felt wrong. Sam and I have too many memories with that car."  
Cas raised his eyebrows. "Wow. Uh. I-Can I see it?"  
"Yeah, if you want to."  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Dean pulled off the large stained sheet that covered the sleek black 1967 Chevrolet Impala.  
"You'd never be able to guess she was totaled, would ya?" Dean queried.  
Cas stared with wide blue eyes, "Damn. It looks brand new."  
"I worked long and hard on her. I put in probably - god - two-hundred hours?"  
The dark haired man's jaw dropped. "You're kidding."  
"Nope." Dean answered, dead serious. "She was totaled. I had to fix the dents, replace the glass, replace the leather and flooring. There was blood everywhere and it reeked of death."  
"I don't know how you managed to get past that." Cas pondered.  
"Hell, I didn't. I cried and tried to work the pain away."  
Cas reached his arm up to rub at Dean's shoulder. "You want to talk about it?" He offered.  
Dean snuffed. "There's not much to talk about. Dad died on impact, and my mom spent a month on life support before they gave up on her."  
"I'm so sorry, Dean." Castiel spoke up.  
"There's no need to apologize. It happened way too long ago." Dean retorted, frustration and sadness in his voice.  
"It doesn't matter how long ago it was. It still hurts the soul. It's okay to be upset." Cas attempted to comfort.  
Dean shook his head. "No, no it's fine."  
"If you say so. I believe you." Cas stated.  
  
They stepped back inside at the same time that Sam Winchester pulled up to the house.  
"Hey, seems like my brother's home, if you'd like to meet him?" Dean asked, rubbing at his aching neck.  
"Of course I would!" Castiel exclaimed with an indication of delight.  
Dean gave a toothy grin. "I think you two will get along."  
Cas smiled back happily and said, "I hope so."

Sam opened the door, and began to call for Dean out of habit before he saw his brother and the man named Cas whom he'd heard about standing in their kitchen.  
"Hey Sam. This is Cas." Dean introduced him.  
"Hello." Cas commenced with respect.  
"Hey, Cas. I'm Sam. It's nice to meet you. I've heard a few good things about you." Sam greeted with a smile while walking towards him. He offered Cas a hand to shake.  
Cas gripped his hand and shook it with adequate pressure. "I've been wanting to meet you as well. Dean talks very highly of you."  
Sam smiled and glanced at the floor, unknowing if he should be embarrassed or flattered - maybe both. He nodded at Cas. "I'm sorry for cutting this so short, but I'm really tired from work, and I've gotta get up early to go back. I hope we can talk very soon?"  
"Of course." Cas nodded back. "Don't let me keep you waiting. I should be going anyway, I don't want to overstay my visit."  
  
Dean started walking Castiel to the door as Sam tread to his room. Dean didn't want to see Cas leave but his body had had enough for the night.  
"I had a nice time tonight, Dean Winchester." Cas thanked.  
"I had a good time too, Castiel Dmitri Novak." Dean repeated in similar fashion.  
Cas smiled big and leaned close to give Dean a peck on the cheek. "Next week?" He asked.  
Dean reciprocated the smile. "Definitely."


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

_"Health is not valued until sickness comes." -Thomas Fuller_

* * *

**December 20th, 2005.**

  
  
  
  
  
Castiel Novak knocked on the Winchester's front door. Moments later, Sam answered the door and invited him inside. Before Cas could say anything, Sam pulled him off to a corner and lowered his voice to a quite soft volume.  
"Has Dean told you about his health?" He questioned, barely audible.  
Cas stood still, confusion heavy on his face. "What?" Cas asked for clarification.  
Sam sighed. "I'll take that as a no. You don't know he's sick?"  
"He's sick? What does he have? Should I leave?" Cas bombarded Sam with questions, keeping his voice low.  
The younger Winchester swallowed heavily. "We don't know what he has. I don't have long to explain. He's sick. He's been sick since 2003. Take it easy on him."  
"What's wrong with him?" Cas asked again.  
"He's just sickly. He's in constant pain and stays at home in bed most days. Doctors can't figure it out, and I think he's getting worse." Sam blurted out very fast. "Just take care of hi-"  
Dean started yelling from the kitchen. "Is Cas here, Sammy?!"  
"Yeah, he just got here. He's coming!" Sam called back, before turning to face Cas again. "Take care of him." Sam repeated for emphasis with worried eyes.  
  
Sam turned and hiked into the kitchen, Cas following closely behind.  
"Hey Cas!" Dean welcomed warmly with a bright smile upon his face, his eyes lighting up with joy.  
Cas smiled back weakly, still slightly in shock from the news. "Hello Dean." He responded and gave an awkward little wave.  
"You ready for dinner? Made it myself." Dean announced, puffing his chest. "Well, almost by myself."  
Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed plates for the three of them.  
They ate dinner together whilst chatting. Cas felt like he was barely there, he couldn't help but wonder what pain Dean was in right now. He hid it so well, how could he?

After dinner, Sam agreed to clean the dishes while Cas and Dean set up a movie for the two of them. Sam had retreated to his room to sleep.  
"The Notebook?" Dean asked quizzically.  
"You said you were a sucker for chick flicks." Castiel giggled.  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Shut up." He was obviously acting. Dean was totally into it, and Cas knew it. He knew because Dean held back his damn 'man tears' at the end.  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
When the movie was finished, Dean led Cas into his room to talk for a little while longer.  
"So what'd you think?" Cas asked.  
Dean shrugged. "I mean, I've seen better."  
 _Lies_.  
"And how've you seen that before if chick flicks aren't really your thing?" Dean inquired with a smirk.  
It was Cas's turn to roll his eyes. "I have a sister, Dean."  
"No excuses."  
"Stupid." Cas laughed.

Dean began to rub at his neck, and Cas couldn't help but wonder if it hurt him. He didn't even know what kind of pain Dean had; Sam didn't explain much.  
Cas stepped closer to him, a sudden urge to finally press a soft kiss upon Dean's lips for the first time. He leaned close, and Dean didn't argue. Dean just initiated further by wrapping his hands around Cas's neck, and staring deep into Cas's eyes.  
"So you're finally giving in to me, are you?" Dean winked with a laugh.  
Cas grinned and leaned in to close the gap while whispering, "Shut up."  
  
Their lips met and fit perfectly in one another like puzzle pieces. Almost as if they were made to fit just right into one another. Cas could've sworn he forgot how to breathe before he felt his lungs begin to ache uncomfortably. He pulled away to suck in air, Dean following him. Their lips clashed once more, you could almost hear the click of their puzzle-piece lips interlocking seamlessly. Cas pulled away again, but Dean held onto his bottom lip between his teeth with care for a split second before unlatching. They stood close, breathing upon the other's mouths in synchrony.

"Damn. You're good." Dean panted upon Castiel's cupid's bow.  
Cas opened his eyes, while Dean kept his closed for a few more moments. Cas's eyes grazed upon the freckles littering the eldest Winchester's cheeks and nose. They were petite and cute and gave him a slight boyish look.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Before Cas knew it, he was back at home - tucked into his own bed. It felt as if Dean's warmth lingered around him still, if somehow possible. He thought of Dean, how he was doing. It kept him up for longer than usual.  
Sam Winchester's words rang in his eardrums on repeat.  
 _He's in constant pain._  
 _Getting worse._  
 _Doctor's can't figure it out.  
Take care of him.  
  
_Cas decided to send Dean a text.  
  
' _Dean, I know. You don't have to hide it._ '  
  
A reply came fast.  
  
' _Know of what?_ '  
  
' _Your illness_. '  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Take care of him._   
  
  


* * *

  
  
' _Did Sam tell you?_ '  
  
' _Dean it's okay._ '  
  
' _Dammit_ '  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**_Take care of him._ **   
  


 


	5. Chapter 5

 

* * *

_"It's okay if you fall down and lose your spark. Just make sure that when you get back up, you rise as the whole damn fire." -Colette Werden_

* * *

**January 7th, 2006.**

  
  
  
  
  
  
Castiel wished he'd had Sam's phone number at this very moment in time. Cas was sitting on a descending airplane on his way home from Illinois with anxiety twisting his stomach into knots. Dean hasn't answered his text messages in days. He sat trembling in his seat for the remainder of the flight.  
' _God Dean, please tell me you're okay_.' He prayed inside his tired, overthinking brain.

The heartbeat he got off of the plane he claimed his luggage and flagged down a taxi, taking it straight to the Winchester's house. Cas attempted to make small-talk with the taxi driver, yet stuttered and failed. All he could think of was the terrible things that could've happened to Dean.  
When he arrived, he paid as quick as possible, grabbed his belongings, and sprinted to the front door of the small Kansas home. Cas knocked quick and harsh raps onto the door, and Sam answered moments later.  
  
"Hey, Cas." Sam greeted solemnly. "Woah, you okay?"  
"Is Dean okay? He hasn't answered me. I was in Pontiac visiting family and I didn't have your number and I haven't gotten a response f-" Cas stuttered out in a frantic whirlwind of sentences before he was cut off.  
Sam shushed him and spoke up. "He's not doing the best. He's worse than normal. I'm sorry, I should've taken his phone and replied. Here, I'll write my number down so you have it."  
Some color returned to Cas's face after hearing that at least Dean was _alive_. "I want to help."  
"I don't know if he'd appreciate you being here. He's kinda... bad." Sam warned as he scribbled down a handful of numbers on a small slip of paper, then handed it to Castiel.  
"Please." Cas plead as he received the paper, sliding it into his pocket next to his phone.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Sam opened Dean's bedroom door slowly.  
"Sam?" Dean called out in a raspy, sore-sounding voice. His face had a pillow over it, presumably blocking any light to his eyes. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat, and his hands and jaw were tense.  
Sam sighed. "Yes, it's me. A-And Cas."  
"No." Dean exclaimed as he tried to sit up. "No no no, he can't see me this way. I'm sick."  
"Dean, you're always sick..." Sam pointed out.  
"Please, he doesn't need to see me like thi-" Dean was cut off by Castiel's soothing voice piping up.  
"I know you don't want me to see you this way, but I want to help. I mean, you are my... my boyfriend." Cas gulped. "I want, no I need to help you. That's what I'm here for."  
Dean breathed a tense sigh. "Cas..."  
"Shh..." Cas comforted as he drew closer to Dean, sitting on the edge of his bed. Cas began stroking Dean's thigh, willing him to lay back down. "I'm here."  
  
Sam smiled, knowing Dean was in good hands, and left the room.  
"Dean how are you feeling?" Cas asked.  
Dean laid still, breathing raggedly for a few moments before responding. "I don't want to worry you."  
"I don't mind."   
"Every inch of my body feels like shit. My head hurts, everything is too bright, I'm sore all over." He admitted, holding back slightly.  
"You're gonna be okay. I've got'cha" Cas tried to soothe.  
Dean winced as he chucked lightly. "You don't have to treat me like a little kid."  
Cas's cheeks flashed pink. "I'm trying to help."  
"There's not much for you to do."  
"Well, what do you want me to do?" Castiel asked.  
Dean sighed heavy and closed his eyes, before speaking. "Just... stay with me. I guess."  
  
Dean reached out for Cas's hand, and Cas complied by curling his finger in-between Dean's. Cas nodded and smiled to himself, scooting closer to Dean's frame. He looked so fragile laying there, groaning in pain every few moments. Cas would do his best to soothe him by humming random tunes while sliding his thumb over Dean's knuckles with short movements.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
After an hour or so, Dean's muscles fell lax as he slipped into a slumber. His lips parted and air slid betwixt them without effort during each slow breath. Castiel watched Dean's chest rise and fall steadily. Cas gave a little smirk, glad than Dean was no longer feeling the pain. He slithered down to lay next to the man, taking care not to wake him.

Cas slid his phone out of his back pocket with his free hand and typed in Sam's number. He sent an informative text.  
  
  
' _I'm going to spend the night and watch over him, if it's alright with you._ '  
  
Cas pressed send, and immediately the text was read by the younger Winchester. A typing bubble appeared and soon after he had his reply.

' _Be my guest. Thank you, Cas_. '  
  
  
Castiel dazed off with Dean wrapped up in his arms. Dean unconsciously leaned into the warmth of Cas's solid body. Both men slept soundly through the night, only waking when the golden sun rose and shone through Dean's window; Illuminating the room. The birds sung with pride at the beginning of a new day.

Dean shifted his chin to look up at Cas. A word of thanks was whispered through the haziness of just being awakened. Cas thanked him back for letting him stay to take care and watch over him.  
They laid still, saying nothing. Simply breathing in the other's scent; Completely content in the situation.

 


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

_"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you 'have a good day'. Instead I advise you to simply 'have a day'. Stay Alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet. It'll be better soon. Until then, **have a day**." -Unknown_

* * *

**January 10th, 2006.**

  
  
  
  
  
Castiel Novak stepped into the Winchester's house for the third time in that week. He carried a book he'd written to read to Dean, hoping it would bring him some joy and make him forget his pain for a short while. It's all Cas wanted to achieve. He also held bag full of sweets, a deck of cards, and a few water bottles. He transferred everything to Dean's room, setting them down gently.  
"Hi Dean, I'm here." Cas greeted to the still lump of blankets that covered the sick man who was laying in bed.  
The lump moved, exposing Dean's face with a smile. "Hey Cas." Dean rubbed at his aching temples and coughed lightly.  
"I brought a few things for you."  
"Oh," Dean mumbled, rather shocked. "Thank you."   
Cas grinned down at him, retrieving the chocolate and gummy candy and placing them in Dean's open hands. "These," he began, "are for when I read this." Cas lifted his book into view.  
Dean eyed it with curiosity. The cover was pastel colored, with two sketched children on it. One with short, dark chestnut hair, and the other with medium-length, solid brown hair. It was titled - ' _A Day at the Pond_ '  
  
Dean snorted with laughter. "A Day at the Pond?" He confirmed quizzically.  
"You know what. Shut your trap." Cas laughed along. "I'm shit at titles. Besides, this is a children's novel; What else am I supposed to title these things?"  
"Oh, I don't know. Anything but that." Dean teased.  
Castiel shook his head with a large, goofy grin on his face. "Whatever, do you want me to read it or not?"  
Dean opened the bag of gummies with a crinkly noise. "Go right ahead." He muttered before plopping the candy into his mouth.

* * *

  
  
_Once upon a time, there lived a brother and a sister who loved going on adventures together._  
_"C'mon Sis, we're going to the pond!" Brother called out._  
_"The pond, the pond! Oh my!" Sister replied._  
  
_The two gathered their bug nets and rain boots. They head out toward the pond._  
_Pitter patter went their feet, walking down the road._  
_They reached the pond and slipped on their boots._  
_Splish splash went sister's feet as she jumped in the muddy puddle._  
_Mud swirled in the murky water and they both ooh'd and ah'd._  
  
_Brother held the net and began to chase a beautiful butterfly._  
_It's wings were the brightest of blue, like brother's eyes.-_

* * *

  
Dean cut off the story with a chuckle. "A little narcissistic about your eyes, are we?"  
"That's what you have to comment on. Seriously?" Cas sighed in embarrassment.  
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I will admit that you have gorgeous eyes though."  
Cas felt his cheeks begin to tint a rosy color and heat flushed through his face. "Oh stop that."  
Dean reached to tap Cas's face with shaking, chill fingertips. "Now, now, pretty boy. Keep reading."  
Cas cleared his throat to continue with the story.

* * *

 

 _Brother caught the butterfly and went to show Sister._  
_"It's beautiful!" Sister cried out as she held out her hand to the tiny bug._  
_It fluttered over and landed on her finger, tickling her skin._  
  
_They then gazed deep into the pond to search for fish._  
_Bubble gurgle went the fish in the water._  
_"Look Brother," Sister pointed out to a fish with golden scales that shone._  
_"Wow!" Brother exclaimed._  
  
_It was now becoming late, and the sun had begun to set._  
_Brother and Sister gathered their things once more, and set off to home._  
_Pitter patter went their feet, walking down the road._  
  
_"Today was a good day." Brother announced, and Sister agreed._  
_"It was even better that I got to spend it with you." Sister admitted._  
_They turned to face the other, and hugged the other tightly._  
_"I love you, Brother."_  
_"I love you, Sister."_  
  
_The End._

* * *

  
  
Dean aww'd teasingly at the ending while chewing a mouthful of chocolate.  
"Oh my god this was my first book, I know it's bad." Cas mumbled as he scratched his ear with embarrassment.  
Dean swallowed the candy. "Nah, I enjoyed it. Thank you." Dean voiced with a tone of appreciation. "I just like teasing you. You're cute when you're embarrassed."  
Cas let out a long exhale. "You are unbelievable."  
"I know." Dean smirked. His facial expression changed from happiness to a wince of pain. "Hey, can you grab my pi-"  
Before he could finish his sentence, Cas handed over his bottle of painkillers.  
"...You read my mind. Thanks." Dean expressed his gratitude with a short smile.  
"Of course, Dean." Castiel responded.

Dean popped the pill and laid back down to rest.  
"How you feeling?" Cas asked him with slight concern.  
Dean closed his eyes and then answered, "Like shit."  
"How bad?"  
"I'd say a seven on the pain scale." Dean clarified.  
Cas pressed his lips together then pat the back of Dean's hand. "We'll just wait for that to kick in."  
Dean breathed an audible sigh. "Yeah."  
  
A half hour of quiet passed, before the silence was shattered by Sam calling out.  
"I'm home, Dean!"  
Dean smiled unconsciously. "Heya Sammy!" Dean welcomed, yelling from his spot in the bed.  
"I'll cook dinner! Is Cas here?!" Sam asked.  
"Yes!" Castiel and Dean responded simultaneously.  
You could hear the joy in Sam's voice when he called back yet again. "Hi Cas! Thanks for coming!" It was very clear to all of them that Sam enjoyed having Cas over to care for Dean, for he couldn't himself. Sam worked too much, and was barely home to spend time with Dean. It comforted him that someone could take care of his brother while he was gone.  


* * *

  
  
A while after the three had eaten and after Sam had gone to bed, Dean became very reserved.  
"What's wrong?" Castiel asked.  
Dean didn't answer.  
Cas sighed and tried again. "Dean, what's wrong. I'm here to listen."  
"I'm sick and tired of being well," he paused to laugh, yet not with happiness; more of a scoff, "sick."  
"I know." Cas sympathized as he rubbed at Dean's upper arm. "But I'm here."  
A drawn out sigh escaped past Dean's lips. "You're going to leave me, I can feel it."  
Cas's breathing hitched with surprise. "I'm not going to leave you."  
"Yes you will. Everyone does in the end." Dean mumbled as the memories flashed through his head.  
  


* * *

  
  
_Jo smiled softly and pressed into Dean's cheek with a gentle hand. "I love you." She whispered._  
_"I know, baby. I love you too." Dean responded genuinely._  
_He leaned in to press a kiss into her lips. Jo retaliated by biting a bit, then grabbing his shirt and tugging him closer. Dean let out a playful growl while grabbing her hips and she laughed. They attacked the other's mouths with passion for quite a while._  
_"Alright, down tiger." Jo spoke as she stopped making out with Dean. "I've gotta go home, my parents are waiting."_  
_Dean pecked at her lips once more before quitting. "Be safe."_  
_"I will."_  
_"I'll see you tomorrow." Dean confirmed as he watched her step outside of the house._  
_Jo grinned. "Of course."_  
  
_She never came back after that day._  
_She said she wouldn't leave either._  
_They all said that._  
_They all lied._  
_Anna, Lydia, and then Jo._  
  


* * *

 

"Dean!" Cas whisper-yelled as he patted Dean's chest.  
Dean's gaze focused back on Cas. "Sorry. I was falling asleep or something." He lied.  
"You looked like you were in a trance. Jesus, Dean. You scared me." Cas admitted. "As I was saying, I'm not everyone. I'm someone different, and I'm not going to leave you. I'm right here."  
"Okay." Dean gave in, yet disbelieving him.  
  
Cas brought both hands up to Dean's cheek and leaned forward, kissing him. Dean barely kissed back, so Cas pulled away and stared into Dean's apple green irises.  
"Sleep now, you look tired." Castiel commanded. "I'll be here when you wake up."  
The eldest Winchester smirked up at the blue-eyed man. Cas carded his fingers lovingly through Dean's hair to soothe him to sleep.  
"I promise I'll be here."


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

_"You are not weak because you have suffered. You are strong because you are a survivor." -Dr. Michelle Ward_

* * *

**January 31st, 2006.**

  
  
  
  
  
   
Dean rolled away from the sunlight that hit his already sore eyes, and onto his back. He groaned out expletives and put a pillow over his sweaty face, leaving room to breathe the cool air of his room through his mouth. His shoulder screamed at him with sharp pain, and he moved it into a slightly different position. It dissipated for a few moments before coming back.  
"Damn." Dean muttered to himself. He reached over with his other arm to grab his Advil. It hadn't quite been four hours, and honestly, he didn't care. It wouldn't kill him. Hell, he'd still take it if he had a fifty percent chance of death; He just wanted the pain to stop.

Everything felt like hell. Dean's face, neck, and shoulders had sporadic nerve pain that felt like white hot needles shooting deep beneath his skin. He had to piss but he couldn't even stand for his knees and hips were swollen and would give out when enduring any pressure beneath them. Not to mention the near-migraine and eye pain he experienced. And to top it all off - nausea.  
  
To grin and bear it around Cas was hell on earth, but Dean didn't want to frighten him. He didn't even share all of the symptoms with his beloved Sammy. How could you hurt someone in such a way? It was hard enough on them already with the two supporting him constantly; Dean could only imagine how much worse it would be if they knew everything.  
Dean would think, ' _Keep it to yourself, Winchester_ ,' every time they brought up how he was doing. ' _What they don't know won't kill them._ '  
  


* * *

  
  
After an hour of peace, Dean heard a double-knock at the door, alerting him that Cas was about to come in.  
"Hello Dean." Castiel greeted as always, a huge smile planted on his face.  
Dean lifted the smushed pillow from his face, weakly smiling back. "Hey Cas."  
"How're you feeling?" Cas questioned as he let the smile drop, leaving him with a more serious facial expression.  
"Crappy." Dean admitted, still holding back.  
Cas harrumphed. "That's no good, now is it?"  
"Guess not."  
"You look sweaty." The dark haired man pointed out.  
Dean dabbed at his face with numb fingers. "Well, I never could've guessed!" He joked.  
  
After Cas had finished laughing, he held up a plastic bag. "I got you something. I know it's late, but it's your birthday present."  
"You didn't have to get me anything." Dean said, his heart warmed by the gesture.  
"Well, I wanted to. I know you'll put it to good use." Cas replied with a smile as he handed over the bag. "I'm sorry I didn't get it wrapped." He apologized as Dean took it.  
"I don't mind, it's less work for me." Dean smiled back with a wink. He sat up slowly and then peeled open the bag to see two containers of Advil, and a wad of money. He opened it up to count it; One-thousand dollars. Dean gasped and practically threw the money back at Castiel. "I appreciate the offer, but I can't take this much money from you, Cas."  
"I want you to have it. I pressured you to go to that doctor's appointment last week and you can barely get by after paying for it. Please," Cas begged, "take it."  
Dean opened his mouth to argue, but knew that Cas was too stubborn. He'd find another way to make sure that Dean pocketed the money. So he dropped it. "Thank you so much."  
Cas nodded in acknowledgement.  
  
"Speaking of that doctor's appointment," Cas began, "how did that turn out?"  
Dean's gaze dropped to his own palms. "They... They said they couldn't find anything wrong with me, and didn't know why I came in."  
Cas's hopes visibly fell from his face. "Did you try to fight back?"  
"Yeah, of course I did. They said I probably just had an allergic reaction or something and turned their backs." Dean told.  
Castiel began breathing deeply, anger bubbling in his veins. " _That_ is fucking unacceptable and _rude_." He announced through tightly gritted teeth.  
"It's okay, Cas."  
"It's not okay!" He barked. "I'm sorry, I'm just. I don't know. It pisses me off, you know? They shouldn't be so rude."  
Dean kept staring at his hands. "I know. It's not okay. It pisses me off too. I know you're frustrated but there's not much we can do about it."  
  
Cas pursed his lips and tried to calm his rising heart rate from the anger he experienced. "I know."  
Out of the blue, Dean opened his mouth and commanded, "Come here."  
Cas didn't question it, and he slid closer to Dean. Dean then reached around Castiel's neck and gently grabbed a fistful of his chestnut colored hair before leaning in to enclose his lips around his partner's.   
Dean grunted with some strain of his muscles from holding himself up, but it was worth it. He was kissing the man that he was falling in love with.  
They separated to breathe, and Cas stared into Dean's eyes like he always did after an intimate moment.  
"You are so beautiful to me, Dean Winchester." Cas panted out softly. He stroked at Dean's stubble with care.  


* * *

  
  
Out of Castiel's backpack came a sheet of paper and a pencil. He settled down the paper onto a book that was in reach, and clicked the pen open.  
"Can I draw you?" Cas inquired.  
Dean smiled. "Of course. Try not to make me too handsome, or anyone who sees it might pass out." He teased. Cas snorted and bowed his head with a chuckle.  
  
The pen scratched against the paper with short, quick movements at first; Then long, smooth strokes. Dean laid back and closed his eyes and began drifting off to sleep, the soothing sound of the scuffling pen marks making him sleepy.  
At this point, Cas noticed and just smiled tenderly down at the man before continuing his work.  
  


* * *

  
  
By the time Cas had finished his small piece of art, Dean shocked himself awake.  
"You weren't out for long." Cas stated.  
Dean rubbed lazily at his left eye with a balled fist. "Good. I didn't really mean to fall asleep. I just - ah-" He cut himself off with a deep growl from pain that was radiating in his skull.   
Castiel reached out toward the Winchester. "Are you okay?"  
"Peachy." Dean lied as always. "I want to see that drawing of yours."  
  
The crinkled piece of paper was passed over to Dean's grasping fingers. He gawked at it with a smile for a short while. His eyes dancing across the page that had a chubby figure that looked like him etched upon it; With 'Dean Winchester' written just below the art.  
"It's..." Dean began to speak, but paused to search for words. "It's kinda cute, man. I look like a little baby version of me."  
Cas smiled and replied, "Well, I am a children's illustrator. I can't really draw realism. Nor write very well unless it's aimed towards a young audience."  
"So the easy writing career?" Dean raised an eyebrow and teased him. "I see how it is."  
"Hey!" Castiel retaliated. "I never said it was easy. It just _seems_ easier than writing young adult or adult fiction, okay?"  
Dean snuffed his nose in a joking manner. "Sure." He agreed with a wink and a click of his tongue.  
  
Then Dean outstretched his arms toward Cas, beckoning him with sweet words to snuggle with him.  
"You're really a sap, you know that?" Castiel murmured as he buried his face into Dean's shoulder.  
Dean huffed, " _I'm_ the sap? God, are you even aware of what _you've_ done?"  
Cas responded with a minuscule whimper of a giggle. He closed his eyes, breathing in Dean's scent; Dean doing the same.  
  
"Hey, Dean."  
"Yeah?"  
"Since we're being sappy, um-- _I think I love you_."


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

_"Understanding the challenges you face with your illness, and then planning a life despite them, may be one of the healthiest decisions you will ever make." -Lisa Copen_

* * *

**February 14th, 2006.**

  
  
  
  
  
Cas exhaled a shuddering breath before knocking upon the Winchester's front door. He held a single crimson rose behind his back, awaiting to give it to Dean. The door squealed as the shorter Winchester brother opened the door. Cas stood eyeing Dean, who was clean shaven, and dressed in a beautiful maroon-colored button down shirt, black tie and slacks, and sleek shoes. Cas couldn't find words to describe how he handsome he looked standing there, he just breathed soft breaths through his gaping mouth and revealed the rose to Dean.  
Dean smirked. "Cat got your tongue?" He joked as he took the rose before pulling Castiel into a deep kiss.  
They pulled away and Cas said, "You look amazing."  
"It's Valentine's Day. It's the least I could do." He paused. "You look gorgeous yourself." Dean admitted, flicking Cas's own tie.  
  
Before Castiel knew it, they were already at the restaurant. The car was parked, and the two men had hobbled inside and were seated.  
"Damn." Dean blurted out in a hushed voice. "This place looks like it could serve the president."  
They both cast their gazes upward toward multiple dimmed crystal chandeliers overhead. The cloths upon the table were blood red, matching the red carpet with gold embellishment underfoot. Dean glanced all around, in complete awe. Cas began to instead watch Dean's face light up with joy; His features softened.  
"How'd you even get us in here?" Dean asked, still mesmerized.  
Cas huffed. "Careful planning. It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that. However, it'll be worth it. I wanted you to come here, since you've never been to a quote-unquote fancy restaurant."  
A child-like smirk appeared on Dean's face as he continued to glare at the bright colors and dim lights littering the place. "Thanks, Cas." He breathed.  
  
The waiter that would be serving their table interrupted Dean's amazement with an abrupt grunt. "Can I get you anything to start? Seltzer water? Appetizers?"  
Cas piped up, "A bottle of champagne, please."  
The waiter nodded in his direction. "Of course, sir." He muttered before scurrying away with haste.  
"Champagne?" Dean gaped.  
"Yeah, why not. Today seems to be a splurge anyway." Cas admitted with a chuckle.  
  
Around an hour later, Dean was graciously chomping upon a medium-rare filet mignon; And Castiel on a seasoned lobster tail.  
"God Cas," Dean groaned around a mouthful of meat, "You have no idea what kind of heaven my taste buds are in right now."  
The blue-eyed man cocked his head and smiled as he lifted another forkful of food into his own watering mouth. He chewed, swallowed, and then took a gulp of the light and bubbly champagne in the clear wine glass that sat directly in front of his plate.  
Neither man said much while food was upon their plates. They were too busy shoveling it in their pie holes and groaning as bursts of flavor exploded on their tongues.  
  
"Thank you so much." Dean thanked as he pat his stomach. His plate was sitting off to the side, completely drained of every last drop it had once contained. "Best. Day. Ever. Which is strange cause I never thought I'd be saying that on Valentine's. I usually hate this day."  
Cas exhaled and leaned back in his chair. "I'm assuming you don't have room for dessert?" He took a guess.  
"Uh, depending on what it is. If they have something that starts with 'p' and ends in 'ie' then we're at least getting some to take home."  
Another chuckle escaped past Cas's lips as he flagged down their waiter.  


* * *

  
  
The lock of the front door clicked as Dean turned the key. He pushed the door open and practically galloped inside, and placing a full and golden-crusted pecan pie upon the counter. He glanced around the dark house, assuming Sam was out and about. Dean waggled his fingers at Cas, beckoning him inside.  
"Come kiss me, sexy thing." Dean voiced with joking lust.  
Cas rubbed at his eyes with a lightly calloused hand, a grin widening his mouth. "Please never say that again."  
"Why not?" Dean prodded. "You're sexy. Don't argue with me. Now come kiss me you little shit, it's Valentine's Day."  
With a sigh, Castiel obliged. He closed the gap between them and kissed Dean with pure intentions. That was, until Dean got competitive.

A hand clasped around Cas's ass, and Cas let out a breathless gasp.  
"Hey!" He exclaimed.  
Dean just let out a breathy laugh and dragged him by the collar towards his bedroom. "Don't act like you don't like it."  
Cas rolled his eyes and gave a shrug.  
  
The bedroom door shut and Dean sat on the edge of his bed, pulling his shirt off.  
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Cas asked. "We haven't really talked about anything explicitly of sexual nature yet."  
Dean snorted. "Okay. Yes I want to do this, and we'll just do what feels natural."  
"I don't want to hurt you. Are you in pain?" Cas asked with a gulp.  
"Yes, but I think this may help." Dean admitted with a downcast gaze. "Do you want this?"  
Cas sighed heavily. "Yes, Dean. I do want this." He began, becoming aware of his dick getting harder as the conversation dragged on. "I just really don't wish to cause you any more pain."  
"Trust me." Dean promised. "I can handle it."  
  
That was all Cas needed to hear. Before Dean could say any more, Cas already gave in and began removing his clothing.  
Dean finished taking his clothes off first, and began to ogle at Cas's figure. "You're so handsome." Dean began whispering compliments.  
Castiel paused before pulling off his boxers, looking at Dean's face which was partially reddened in excitement. "You are too." He whispered back, his eyes trailing down south.  
  
Their first time wasn't awkward. It felt right. It felt like it had been destined. Castiel was positioned atop Dean to better suit his muscles, not wanting Dean to have to work much for this. It was the least Cas could do.  
The bed squeaked and the men moaned and mumbled sweet nothings and dirty talk.

The pace built up to a quick pace until both had enough pressure to release together. A flurry of dopamine and oxytocin swirling in their brains. Cas lifted his head, chest heaving. They stayed interlocked for a few moments before pulling away and cleaning off. Dean groaned, and Cas's heart leapt.  
"Are you okay?" Castiel asked frantically.  
Dean placed a hand on Cas. "I'm amazing." He told the truth about how he felt for once. "I swear."  
Cas bowed his head and placed a hand over his chest. "You scared me."  
"Don't worry, Cas." Dean plead. He took a handful of breaths before asking. "How about we get some pie and then go for round two?"


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

_"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." -Joseph Campbell_

* * *

**May 2nd, 2006.**

 

The moment Dean and Cas heard Sam's car start and roll away from the Winchester household, they sprung into action. It was Sam's 23rd birthday and they weren't about to let him come home from to nothing.  
Cas threw baking directions at Dean while saying, "Here, take this. I'll start working on the book, you start on the cake."  
"Gotcha." Dean affirmed, then gave a tongue click before walking over to the kitchen; Leaving Cas by the computer.

Cas took a breath in through his nose, and out threw his mouth. He only had a handful of hours to take the rough outline of a story he had and iron it out nice and smooth. It would be a children's story, of course; However it still took time. Longer than one would think. He began to type.

Meanwhile, Dean was squinting at the instruction sheet for a simple cake recipe.  
"Butter, sugar, vanilla extract-the hell? Do we even have that?" He muttered to himself as he read the ingredients. "Whatever it'll have to do."  
Dean had pulled out a large mixing bowl and began throwing random ingredients in whilst hoping for the best.

 

* * *

   
  
Castiel glanced at the time. They had two hours to go now.  
"The cake almost done, Dean?" Cas yelled from where he was, not bothered to peel his eyes from his work.  
There was clattering as Dean replied, "Ye-aH." He spoke in two pained syllables.  
Pause.  
"Are you okay?" Cas called.  
Another pause.  
"I dropped the fucking cake."

The dark haired man bust into uncontrollable laughter. He couldn't even be mad. Dean stepped into the room.  
"My god, it's not funny!" Dean said with a smile.  
"Then why-" Cas cut himself off with more giggling, tears beginning to form at the corners of his eyes, "are you smiling?!"  


* * *

  
  
Another hour and a half down, and another new cake later, Cas was finally almost finished with the short story for Sam. He clambered in the kitchen to help Dean take the cake out of the oven this time. The aroma was of sweet vanilla and sugar. Cas grinned as the waft of smells hit his nose.  
"C'mon, c'mon, it's gonna burn!" Dean prompted with minimal anxiety in his voice.  
"Easy now, it's not gonna burn." Cas comforted.  
Dean scoffed. "It better not, I worked hard on it."  
Cas pat Dean's shoulder as he slid past him and towards the oven. "I know you did."  
  
Oven mitts slid on the long fingers that belonged to Cas, and out the pastry came. Golden, fluffy, and baked to perfection.  
"See? It looks great." Castiel praised.  
Dean smiled. "Damn. I should start a bakery."  
Cas shook his head and rolled his eyes.  
"What?! I should!"  
  
The two men began frosting the cake a sky blue color. Similar to a baby powder pastel. Dean dipped a finger into the frosting and swiped it along Cas's nose, leaving a clump of the sugary topping upon it.  
"Knock it off!" Cas exclaimed.  
Dean shrugged. "Make me." He teased as he scooped a bigger clump and dragged it on Cas's cheek. "Hey look, it matches your eyes... Sorta?"  
"Be that way." Cas huffed, his mouth wide with amusement. He swiped frosting along Dean's cupid's bow. Dean simply combatted that by leaning in for a peck; Frosting now upon Cas's lips as well.  
"Dumb move on your part." Dean said with raised brows.  
Cas chuckled. "Well I'll give you that."  


* * *

  
  
Cas and Dean scrambled to get everything in place as they heard the car door slam and lock as Sam got home.  
"Cas, the book!" Dean reminded, visibly flustered.  
"Shit!" Cas cursed. He took off in a sprint to the other room to grab the printed papers that were stapled together. His socks sliding on the wooden floors.  
  
The front door latch opened with a click.  
"Hey Dean, I'm h-" Sam bellowed before stopping himself, seeing Dean grinning whilst leaning on the kitchen table. He cleared his throat and spoke in a more indoor-voice tone, "I'm home."  
Dean's smile widened. "Happy Birthday Sammy!"  
There was a loud grunt, and a passing mumble. The brothers turned to face Castiel, who came sliding between them.  
Cas hunched over, out of breath. "I g-I got it." He panted. "H-Happy Birthday Sam."  
  
The stack of stapled papers was plopped into Sam's hands.  
"Wh-?"  
"It's your present. It's homemade, clearly." Dean paused to roll his eyes. "We hope you like it." He concluded.  
Sam glanced down at the slightly wrinkled papers, a smile tugging at his lips. Before he could begin to read it, Cas spoke up.  
"There's also cake. Homemade too."  
"It's the second cake I made today, ah," Dean stuttered, "Never mind, read your present."  
  
The youngest of the three rubbed his eyebrow as a muted chuckle erupted from his throat as he turned his attention back to the paper. There was a pencil illustration of cartoon moose and squirrel characters under lines of typewritten words.  
  


* * *

   
  
The strong moose  clip-clopped through the thick forest beside the small squirrel.  
An aroma of pine-needles wafted through the dense air.  
Suddenly, the moose heard the squirrel's plea.  
  
"Moose, I cannot walk as fast as you." The squirrel claimed.  
The moose stopped in his tracks and turned toward the squirrel.  
The squirrel sat back on his heels, tail propped up high.  
  
The moose bent his head low to the ground.  
"Why did you lower your antlers?" The squirrel asked.  
"So I can carry you." The moose replied.  
  
The squirrel was taken aback. "I will only drag you down."  
The moose chuckled. "Have faith, brother. My sturdy legs can support us both."  
The squirrel argued no further. He simply leapt onto the moose's beautiful ivory antlers.  
"Thank you." Said the squirrel.  
"I am only lending what I have to give to the less fortunate than I." The moose began.  
  
"Twas not your fault that you were born smaller than I,"  
"Twas not mine that I was born stronger than you."  
"We can all help each other in small ways."  
"However what seems a small deed from me,"  
"Means the world to you."  
  
The squirrel curled up upon the moose's antlers.  
"Thank you, once again." The squirrel thanked.  
"I promise I will make this up to you some day."  
  


* * *

  
  
Tears were prickling the corners of Sam's eyes. It was obvious that he understood the symbolism, and it need not be explained.  
"C'mere you moose." Dean prompted as he pulled his beloved brother into a tight hug. "Thank you for everything. Happy Birthday, Sammy." He whispered into Sam's ear.  
"No, Dean. Thank you." Sam sniffed, willing himself not to cry. He pulled away and went to give Cas a bear hug. "You too, Cas. Thank you so much."  
Cas grunted in acknowledgement.  
  
After a few moments of this Dean groaned. "Okay okay, too touchy feely. No chick flick moments, man."  
Sam rolled his eyes. "You started this." He pointed a finger at Dean.  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up. Only I can break the rule." Dean poked fun.  
They shared a brief laugh together.  
  
"So," Cas mumbled. "Are we gonna eat this cake or?"  
"Hell yeah." Sam exclaimed.  
Dean grinned. "I'll get a knife."  
"Don't forget candles!" Cas called as Dean was trotting over to the utensils.  
"Yeah, yeah. I hear you."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This note is a short apology for not updating this for a little while! >_<;  
> I went through a flare of my own and have been unable to write, I'm sorry!  
> I'll try my best to keep up ^_^

* * *

_"Sometimes you'll be in control of your illness and other times you will sink into despair and that's okay. Freak out, forgive yourself, and try again another day." -Unknown_

* * *

**August 7th, 2006.**

 

 

  
They finalized the decision of the move two weeks ago. Castiel put his house up for sale, and moved in with the Winchesters. He and Sam agreed on Cas paying rent once his house sold. Cas moved in as soon as he could. He spent most of his days there already, even spending the night more often than not. So they decided there was no point in Cas owning his own property that he never used. He already had a work setup outside Dean's bedroom so he could write his stories as Dean rested or slept.  
  
"Hey, Cas." Sam alerted in a hushed tone. "I'm gonna head out now."  
Cas looked up from his desk that contained a small laptop with papers littered all around it. "Alright. See you tonight." He gave his farewell with a smile and a curt nod.  
Sam grinned back and pat Castiel's shoulder, then left the cozy little building they called home; Heading off to another unending work shift.  
  
Stiffened fingers carded through Cas's hair as he moved his attention back to his work-zone. An audible exhale gliding past his lips. With a slight sniffle, he rubbed his nose, picked up his stubby pencil, and continued drawing characters for his upcoming book.  
  


* * *

  
  
As Dean came out of yet another restless sleep, the pain of yesterday gradually illuminated into full force. Beginning with his head, an aching and throbbing sort of pain set in. His eyes felt like they were about to be burnt out of his skull. A thin layer of sweat traced his hairline. Dean started to squirm to try and combat the awful feeling. The pain began to radiate into other areas, with Dean's neck next in line. It felt tight and heavy, as though somebody grasped the base of his skull with pliers and was trying to pull his spine out through his skin.  
  
Dean's shoulders burned and his ribs begged for the release of a pressure that was not there. His hips experienced a sharp pain that was like a spear digging through his flesh and hitting bone. He grit his teeth and curled his toes. Every ounce of discomfort bubbled and boiled and built until he couldn't bear it anymore.  
Dean screamed. He didn't mean to, but it happened; And it felt as if he couldn't stop.  
  
Cas flung through the door within moments of Dean's first cries of agony.  
"Hey, what's wrong?!" Cas asked through the yelling.  
Dean locked eyes with Cas and he whimpered a vague, "Help me."  
Cas swallowed dryly, not knowing what to do. "Painkillers? Heat packs or- cold packs?"  
Dean didn't speak, he just kept squirming and yelping. He was delirious from the strength of sudden pain that he couldn't bring himself to speak.  
"I'll go get everything, Dean. Don't worry. Just stay put." Cas promised with his brows knit tightly together before sprinting out of the room to gather supplies.  
  
The sensation of pins and needles flashed over Dean's face and chest. His hands went numb and cold. He brought his hands behind his neck and coughed forcefully, his throat still dry from sleep. Dean bit together as hard as he could and tried to breathe.  
_It'll pass, it'll pass, it can't last forever._ He repeated in his head, waiting for Castiel to return.  
  
Hinges squealed on the door as Cas came back in the room.  
"Here, ibuprofen and water. I've got an ice pack too, it might help." He spoke as he came closer to Dean's shaking, sweaty figure.  
Cas helped Dean prop himself up against a mound of pillows so he wouldn't choke on the pill. The cool water splashed over Dean's chapped lips, stinging them. Cas slid the ice pack between Dean's shoulder blades to help with any possible swelling.  
"You'll be okay, Dean." Cas promised. "I'm here."  
  
Dean broke down and cried, his shoulders convulsing. Tears slipped down his face effortlessly. They relieved the burning sensation on his cheeks for a few moments.  
"I'm sorry." Dean apologized.  
Cas sighed. "There's no reason to say that."  
The sobs became louder. Dean took three shuddering breaths then apologized again.  
  
Strong arms wrapped around Dean's middle and pulled him close to the older man. Cas said nothing, just held him there. There's nothing that anybody could say to relieve Dean of this, and they both knew it. So they simply just laid there; Dean cried, and Cas tried to soothe.  
  


* * *

  
  
It took multiple tries to bring down Dean's pain. Cas helped him bathe twice in tepid water, gave him multiple anti-inflammatory teas to drink, and used what felt like dozens of hot and cold packs. After what seemed like days of attempts, they finally managed to get Dean at a more bearable level of pain. Cas helped him back to bed, and laid next to him.  
  
"I'm sorry, Cas." Dean apologized for quite possibly the millionth time.  
Cas squeezed his hand. "It's okay. I'm here for you."  
Dean laid tense and stone-still against the bed. He opened his mouth and quickly closed it again after deciding to not say what he wanted.  
"What is it?" Cas prodded.  
"I just - I don't know how much longer you're going to put up with this. How much longer you'll put up with me."  
  
The blue-eyed man sat in shock for a few moments. "If this is about me leaving you, Dean, I'm not going to. I'm-I'm never going to." Cas stuttered out.  
The green-eyed man sighed deeply at this. "Cas, you will. Nobody can put up with this forever." Dean combatted, quite sure of his own words.  
"I'm different. I love you, Dean. The others never did if they decided to leave." Cas promised with an assurance nestled deep in his voice.  
"I love you too." Dean replied as he looked downcast. "I'm-I'm tired, Cas. Sorry."  
  
Cas huffed and swallowed a lump in his throat. He pulled Dean closer to him and planted a kiss atop his head, brushing Dean's cheek and willing him to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

* * *

_"You're going to carry this illness for the rest of your life. So you can wallow in the weight of that, or you can fight for your only life and make it a good story." -Lyss Trayers_

* * *

**October 15th, 2006.**

 

 

   
"Cas! Dean! C'mon already! It's movie night, man!" Sam bellowed from the couch, feet up and waiting for his brother and his brother's boyfriend to join him.  
A yell from Dean pierced through the walls and back at Sam. "Yeah, we're coming! Take a freakin' chill pill!"  
  
Cas stood from his position on the side of the bed and stretched his arms out to Dean, helping him up.  
"There you go." Cas muttered as Dean got to his feet. "Take it easy."  
The two clambered on over to the couch, Cas holding onto Dean's shoulder in case his hips or knees suddenly gave out like they were doing more frequently.  
  
"What movie we watching, Sammy?" Dean asked as he plopped down beside his younger brother.  
Sam smirked as he clicked the play button on the movie. "Shut up and you'll find out."  
Dean rolled his eyes. As Cas sat beside him the couch compressed more and shifted Dean's hips awkwardly. Dean let out an exasperated puff, and Cas mouthed an apology as they settled down.  
  
The beginning scene for Hocus Pocus flashed on screen, and Dean recognized it immediately. He threw Sam a displeased glance.  
"Every year. It's a classic, Dean." Sam argued, waving a finger at him.  
Dean sighed and returned his focus to the screen.  
"Can't break tradition." Sam teased while turning the volume up a handful of notches.  
  


* * *

  
  
Before the movie had ended, Dean fell asleep leaning against Castiel's shoulder. Sam paused the movie to point it out to Cas, and they both smiled.  
"You put a spell on him!" Sam joked, singing the sentence to the tune of the song.  
"And now he's mine!" Cas played along, with his eyebrows raised. "Now let's finish the movie."  
Sam snorted and leaned over to high-five him prior to pressing the play button again.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
The movie finished quite late in the night, and Sam stretched his brawny limbs and let out a long yawn. Dean was still fast asleep, and Cas cradled his head.  
"Are you gonna stay on the couch for the night?" Sam asked.  
Cas glanced down upon Dean's freckled features, then back at Sam. "Yeah I think so. If we wake him he'll never go back to sleep."  
"Alright. G'night Cas." Sam said as he turned away to walk towards his own bedroom.  
  
Cas inhaled sharply as he remembered what he was planning on telling Sam. "Hey, wait."  
"Yeah?"  Sam stopped and turned around to face Castiel.  
"I figured I'd ask you first, but-" Cas swallowed. He peered at Dean once more, making sure he was asleep. "Is it alright that I marry your brother? I mean-informally, but I want to propose an-"  
Sam lifted a hand to cut Cas off. He nodded. "Of course, Cas. I know how much you care about him. Not that you need my permission, I'm his _younger_ brother, but I understand the sentiment." Sam spoke with amusement. "Welcome to the Winchester family, Castiel."  
  



End file.
